We all long to be seen. Whether extraverted, introverted, shy or outgoing.
We want to be known for who we are. Not just for what we’ve done.
But some of us were born with People Pleasing blood in our veins. To narcissistic parents, who inducted us early in the dysfunction of their ways.
As youngsters, we bore witness as they warmed themselves in the heat of our Light.
Our parents, who like children themselves, required the spotlight and all of our attention.
Affirming and supporting those needy ones without reciprocity or gratitude.
Some of us were admonished for holding hands with a sweetheart in the company of our parent – who complained about feeling “left out”.
So, we acquiesced to the demand of that impoverished heart.
Too often our sentences were interrupted midstream. Hijacked and rerouted to the interests of their agenda. Our self-expressions, interpreted as being “too much”.
We doubted our worthiness, our sovereignty — except as measured by our service to others.
We were very good at ‘seeing’. But not, at ‘being seen’.
Our caregivers did the best they could.
But the damage was done.
Witnessed over the years, as we engaged a succession of toxic monogamies. Looking for love in all the wrong places.
Yet, in the momentum of those excruciating passages, we grew heartier.
There is no substitute for healing, than to bloom in your own fire.
Afia
In the illumination of that ravaging flame, we caught glimpse of our own true face. And met a magnificent kindness.
“The opening of eyes long closed”. *
We gasped at a beauty never noticed. The “astonishing light of our own Being”. **
Our approval-seeing could finally be jettisoned.
To assume its rightful place. As a loving witness for both Self and Other.
Seeing. And being seen. Together, as One.
If you love yourself, you love others.
Osho
Helping yourself, you help the world. You are in the world – you are the world. You are not different from the world, nor is the world different from you.
Sri Ramana Maharishi
*David Whyte
**Hafiz