Bias — is a bit like walking around town in the same old coat, no matter what the weather conditions.
It is entrenched patterning that doesn’t bend or flow with new contexts or circumstances, but remains staunchly invested in crusty old beliefs …
… about how the world works, the way things should be done, and who people are.
Bias stands firmly planted in front of you with his arms crossed against his chest. His favorite utterance is the word, “No”.
If you didn’t know better, you’d might think Bias was hard of hearing – given the impenetrability of his positioning.
You’d guess that he was a pretty tough nut to crack. And, you’d be right.
His go-to is ‘locked and loaded’.
Dare to challenge him and he’ll meet you with guns blazing, ready to meet fire with fire.
And herein lies your clue.
The way to win over the heart of Bias is never to apply force.
Resistance is petrol for his passions.
He’s taken a stand. Formed an identity.
When his survival is threatened, he’s aware – more than most – that he risks annihilation.
Because very-very deep down, he realizes that he and his persona are not the same.
He doesn’t grasp this with his mind – but in a fleeting moment, his heart catches a glimpse.
At the pit of his stomach lies the pain, hurt, betrayal, shame, unworthiness that Bias sprints so swiftly to outpace.
And since he’s a master shapeshifter, you’ll never catch on.
His identity is his protective shield. His right to exist.
He hides as the aggressor, because otherwise he’d be the target.
All puffed up and camouflaged — the fear that dwells inside. Like a terrified child.
If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll admit that there’s a Mr. Bias living inside of us, too.
Maybe we’ve worked hard to banish him. Or, at least to trim his sails.
But if we open the hatch and look inside, we’ll notice that he’s still hangin’ out in the galley with his ♪ Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum ♪.
Unwilling and unable to change his ways.
So we speak to his heart. Not to his false premises.
We bypass the “tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury”. *
And to his heart we silently say, ‘I see you, brother. I hear you’.
Mind you, we’re not condoning egregious actions or behavior. But looking, square-in-the-eye, into the center of his humanity.
Namaste. A bow of universal respect to the Light within.
Sweet words. Not heard in the entirety of a lifetime.
Yet, there is that one twinkle — the touch of a loving heart.
It changes him from the inside out. No matter what life journey lies ahead. Or, time it takes to assimilate that Light.
Only Love heals.
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring. All of which have the potential to turn a life around.Leo Buscaglia
No one cares, until someone cares. Be that one!Ken Poirot