Anticipation

I waited a year for its arrival.

But when the sought-after treat finally dropped anchor at my front door, I’d pitched it into the garbage within minutes.

You do realize, don’t you, that I’m talking about a Danish Kringle?

I know, right? :) Humble beginnings that tell a story.

The Kringle’s annual appearance was no longer a surprise. Each season, with predictable regularity, management dispatched a package of goodies for the holidays.

Anticipating this mouth-pleasuring sugar rush was definitely something to look forward to. And I did. Each year of three.

Carbon-copy this year – same Danish pastry, same delivery around the Solstice.

Yet something had changed. In me.

On this occasion, I decided to scrutinize the dietary data before tucking right in. Retiring my annual ‘holiday pass’ to plead ignorance, as I’d always done before.

I looked and I noticed. The extra ingredients I’d eschew under normal circumstances appeared in bold, disgusting detail. GMOs. Corn syrup. Dyes. Preservatives … omg, feeling sick already.

But nutritional sticker-shock was not the point.

Rather, it was an attention to detail that matched integrity with choice-making.   

Wowza. Was that my imagination? Or did some massive billboard just pop out of the ethers to announce a change of plans?

Truth of it was, that no ‘decision to change’ had been made at all. Since each step had emerged by itself, like a superconducting flow on auto-pilot. Nice.

Just one simple, sensory sequence: hello Kringle, thank you, goodbye Kringle, garbage pail. Done.

No resistance whatsoever — to the stark clarity of an outer choice reflecting a span-new alignment with inner integrity. Dance partners, groovin’ on the same tune.

(Minor oddity: feeling grateful for a gift, coupled with its hasty toss-to-trash, came as a surprise. But even these two odd fellows had revealed themselves as compatible bunkmates.)

Let’s face it. We’ve conjured multitudes of mind mock-ups for millennia.

John Lennon knew how it went down, “life happens while we’re busy making other plans”. Hear ya, bro.

Spotlighting the end-game misplaces the moment.

And when you think about it … isn’t it obvious how each anticipation is also an outcome? One simple moment — with a double surname.

Looks like we’re on track to savor another year of sweet inspiration. Minus the empty calories. Yummy …

Anticipation, Of pleasure yet to come, Is pleasure itself.

Haiku

I find myself awakened, revelling in every drop of anticipation dripping wet in the ripe, rich fruit of life, flowing effortlessly into the unexpected joy of being alive.

Mary Oliver