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Heart and Grit

I’m Swearing Off …

In These Times

22 Nov

It took me a week to come up with these cheery ones. (God help me if I’d had two weeks.)

Worries, concerns, annoyances, agitations … Those irritating little f-faces that strong-arm their way your space.

First off. Like naughty two-year-olds, they refuse to shut up until you give em’ their propers.

They grab for your attention by whatever means:  jack-hammering your expectations, blowing-up your night’s sleep, drop-kicking your peace into the gutter.

Until it hurts. OW!

While the ‘bigger’ part of me is aware these concerns may not, in fact, be true — that feeble revelation is about as reassuring as a negative Covid test.

So I toss out a question to the little buggers:

“Yo! Now that you have my attention, what d’ya want from me?”

More often than not, they do actually share some tidbits.

I bet maybe you’re having doubts that I’m really ready to give up any of this stuff?

Figured as much. Definitely can’t swear to that one.

I’ll admit that I’m not fond of following rules – including my own.

It’s quite possible that I’m also risking my “good rep” with these true confessions. For all I know, you’ll pitch me into the bin as a sucky role model. Oh well …

If you’re looking for perfection, my apologies in advance.

Not my rodeo.

I am swearing off …

  • Comparing myself to others
  • Expecting anyone to behave like somebody they are not
  • Expecting others to ‘get it’ when they don’t
  • Expecting myself to ‘get it’ when I don’t
  • Expecting myself to see it coming before I crash
  • Being pissed when a friend can’t pull it together to offer a listening space
  • Disappointment when promises to follow-up aren’t delivered
  • Judging others who blame and criticize
  • Indulging concerns about every little health symptom
  • Worry that I’m ingesting too much sugar
  • Concern about 5G
  • Disappointment with myself for falling short of others’ expectations
  • Getting annoyed when others miss details that are so obvious to me
  • Expecting that folks I’m paying to assist me will know more about the subject matter than they do
  • Surprise when a day unfolds as it wasn’t ‘supposed’ to
  • Concern that ‘not getting anything done’ is a problem
  • Impatience with writer’s block that feels like it’ll hang around forever
  • Terror that I’ll end up like my mother at age 90, when a chunk of her mind went missing
  • Holding back the hard truths for fear of losing a relationship
  • Dismay that I gave him another chance – and he let me down, yet again
  • Picking on myself for not enjoying life as much as I should
  • Down-heartedness when manners are lacking in others
  • Pretending to care about something because it’s paying my bills
  • Telling people I love them when I don’t
  • Being irritated at being irritated

Okay, y’all. There’s a start. How many nasties can you add into the comment section below?

2 Comments

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Comments

  1. RUTH says

    November 28, 2020 at 8:44 am

    DAWN-DYANNA – YOUR BLOG “I’M SWEARING OFF” MADE ME LAUGH – IT IS SO REAL – IT SPEAKS TO THOSE MOMENTS IN LIFE WHERE YOUR SPIRIT – WHERE YOUR FLESH FEELS IT AS IT IS FELT – – AND THEN THE JOURNEY —- BELONGS TO ANOTHER DAY…….DAWN-DYANNA – YOUR WRITING HOLDS YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF COMPLEXITY – THE COMPLEXITY OF BEING HUMAN. YOU ARE BRILLIANT.

    Reply
    • Dawn-Dyanna Dhyanna says

      November 29, 2020 at 10:27 am

      I so very much appreciate your reflection!
      Thank you!
      Sending love.

      Reply

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