Here’s a cliffhanger for the heart.
Your cousin has invited you into her confidence. She’s ready to confess a secret — one she’s kept to herself until now, even from close friends and family.
She confides that there’s a guy she’s exquisitely drawn to. Atypical, since she’s not into dating and favors her own company in the absence of some seriously inspiring motivation.
It turns out he’s somebody she’s known for a while.
There’s only one teensy-weensy little problem. The bloke doesn’t know she exists.
He’s a performance artist and widely-known. Draped with inaccessibly — like an invisibility cloak — his privacy is sheltered.
Whew. That’s a goody! (God love her.) Don’t ya think she could’ve picked an easier one?
But she tells you she has a deep knowing about this — that it’s time to meet him. Holy crap, she’s even feeling ready to take the leap.
What she doesn’t know, of course, is the exact nature of her connection with this guy.
Good thing (you think to yourself). At least she’s got that part figured out.
Mildly provocative question: what makes her imagine she knows anything about him?
Without skipping a beat, she responds that she recognizes who he is. Feels her heart attuned with his heart; her mind, sensitive to the currents of his mind.
His demeaner is open and forthright. Transparent, undefended, allowing himself to be seen.
Adding a cherry to the top of that tasty bite, she shifts into your lingo. This dude is the Real Deal – amply raw, unarguably real.
Alrighty then! You’re starting to groove on her vibes.
She’s been counseled over the years by male friends and lovers that it is always the woman who chooses the man.
Jeez – that’s not exactly like picking out home furnishings. But you concede she may have a point.
And, what does she suppose he might like about her?
The reply tumbles out: My tender, open heart; intelligence, responsiveness, optimism, humor, emotional clarity and steadiness.
You fill in some gaps by noting her capacity for deep friendship. Her silliness and playful nature. A devotion to kindness. And resolve never to attack under pressure.
She laughs appreciatively – icing her own cake by adding that her home is well-tended and frequently uplifted with fresh flowers.
Ok, ten points for that one!
Byron Katie used to encourage being “a fool for love”.
Summoning the spirit to take action on one’s deepest longing – even without tangible evidence for a successful outcome.
Free falling like the wind into that wild and uncharted terrain …
♪ I’m free, I’m free-fallin’ ♪ (Tom Petty)
On a more mundane level, your cousin admits that she’s lost preference for a specific physical ‘type’. Likewise, her Love List has long been abandoned.
To counter your doubt, she proclaims that this is not just some adult‑sized edition of schoolgirl puppy love.
And, yes, she is cognizant of the risks.
But this one definitely has It Factor. A promising potential for FLOW.
The gentle rising and falling of blue ocean swells.
Even so, surfing that wave will summon some give-and-take. But not in any sense of ‘giving up’ or loss. Rather, as a joyous expansion of one plus one – alchemically morphing into a greater essence than the sum of its parts. Two souls, celebrating each other, as ONE.
When it claims us, this gestalt is always mega-yummy. A big win like no other. Fueled by passion, maturity and the absence of any real conflict.
So what’s her next step, you ask?
She smiles …
This is love:Rumi
to fly toward a secret sky,
to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment …
In the end, to take a step without feet.
Journeys end in lovers meeting …Shakespeare
And perhaps, the way they also begin.